Becoming More Aware.

Christmas has come and gone again and recently I have been becoming more and more aware of my existence. I know that really has nothing to do with Christmas necessarily but in some way it does. I feel like I live my life in a constant state of just do do do. It is moving from one day to the next without thinking about life. This concept seems really weird but I also think that it is God intervening into my life and my head. It is kind of like He is shaking me and saying wake up. Look to me and follow me in everything you do. Now I mention Christmas because I feel like this was one of the times where I was just living without thinking. My family and I said a lot that it didn’t feel like Christmas this year and I think that is attributed a lot to this mulling through life as if each day didn’t matter.

As I have been thinking about this concept a lot lately and finding myself stopping and thinking hard about what I am doing in that moment, I came across this verse.

Psalm 90:12 “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” This comes from NIV and I really like the way this is worded because I can logically think about literally numbering my days so that I start to appreciate my limited life and grow in Christ’s wisdom and strength. But the NLV version says, “teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom.” The word brevity literally translates into the shortness of human life. Another version even uses the word mortality instead of brevity showing us that we are not indestructible.

Food for thought – brevity is big and small. To us, life is so long and we are constantly searching for something else, never fully satisfied. We cannot wait for the next minute, the next hour, the next year. Nothing can come soon enough for us, that is until we reach the end of our time and we think back to all of the things we could have and should have done. Now to God, our lives are like the blink of and eye. But even though our lives are so short in his grand plan and scheme, He still sees us. He loves us in our darkest times and in our happiest times and he recognizes us. This is the craziest thing to me. God created the heavens and the earth and everything else in this universe and even in all of this enormity that came from Him, we are still His precious children.

I think often times we put God in a box. We limit Him to what He can do. I do this on a consistent basis when it comes to life. I wonder if He will give me the things I desperately want in life like a husband and kids and a prosperous future, and I begin to doubt. I begin to think about why He would want to give me anything, this sinner. But then I remember His love and how it is an everlasting, eternal and endless love. With this I think of Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of His love.”

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and delight in His love and peace. God bless you all!


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